Where's Tiger?

[Webby]

Tiger Woods hasn’t been seen in public since his ill-fated car crash last month, and his whereabouts have been the subject of much speculation.

Where's Tiger Woods?

In character of the Tiger, Mr. Woods prowls unseen and unheard but is listening and watching. Perhaps he's prowled the roots, greens and fauna of Asia too?

Webby

[Webby]

One rumor has it that he's in reform school taught by eagle and minkey as this youtube clip demostrates. The youtube clip is one of Aesop's fables about the natural but excessive carnal nature of tiger spirit not just in tiger years but all the time.

[Webby]

Tiger returns the second week of April 2010 at the Masters. This signals a typical Metal Tiger year characterized by rigid, 'western' protocols.

Who cares about protocols? How will Tiger do you ask? Tiger will perform on a tightly controlled stage with a very short leash. Tiger will be given the tools to drag golf world out of its decline over the course of the year. The course managers may consider a win as too much too soon but here's what to look for in Tiger's golf bag if you're betting on tiger to drag golf world out of its decline:

* Golf Clubs : go the distance
* Able Doctor : make the cut
* Confident Caddy : make the hole
* Mom : win possible during the year
* Wife : win likely, if not first game then within a few games
* Face : win assured

Webby

[Webby]

I used to believe — why, just a few months ago — that Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 major championships was barely a challenge for Woods.

Tim Kawakami, San Jose Mercury News, Sports Page,
Why Tiger Woods won’t break Nicklaus’ major record–at best, he’ll tie

Up to now, looks like tiger's been missing a few items in his golf bag: 'wife' and 'face'. He'll need at least one of these 'tools' to win in Peeble Beach and beyond.

[ElZeroTwo]

Maybe Tiger's got a mirror in his bag and he saw his face? He shot a 66 in round 3 of Pebble Beach to put him in 3rd place, 5 shots behind the leader, Dustin Johnson.

Tiger returns to the Tiger of old

[ElZeroTwo]

Tiger Woods finished Pebble Beach tied for fourth place. Instead of seeing his reflection in a mirror, maybe like Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog, Tiger saw his shadow and will have to experience an additional stretch of winter before the thaw of summer can bring the chance of a win for him.

Youtube : Phil Makes Groundhog Day Prediction!

[Webby]

TIGER Woods and Elin Nordegren are “very close” to finalizing their divorce — insiders say.
www.showbizspy.com

Looks like the golf bag will be missing the 'missus' for a bit which makes a win for Tiger a bit difficult. He's not likely to get the support he needs to win from Elin. If he can get the support from a new 'missus' Tiger then the odds of a win would begin to improve again provided he doesn't lose face in the pre-nuptials and the bachelor party.

[ElZeroTwo]

I knew a few people in the gallery, including my mom, which was nice.
Tiger Woods

Mom can help Tiger to show up, birdie a few holes and usually finish the tournament but she hasn't been enough for a win.

[Webby]

Tiger Woods Falls to Career-Worst 11-Over-Par at Bridgestone Invitational

The coldest WINTER I've ever spent was a SUMMER in San Francisco
Mark Twain

Here's a quote from Tiger Woods about being a tiger in the year of the tiger (2010):

"Tiger Woods you suck" Tiger Woods curses at the Masters...caught on live TV
Uploaded to youtube by GiantSpeculation

[Webby]

No matter how low one sinks...there's always one lower and usually it's the one casting the first stone: